Archive for January, 2013

The benefit of A Divorce Workshop.

Often people tell me how alone and isolated they feel in their separation and divorce. Statistically we all know how common divorce is, but that knowledge does nothing to alleviate the feeling of being alone.  The other predominant issue is how overwhelming feelings can be.  In the space of an hour, one can feel bereaved, angry and even jealous and it is often exhausting.  Often people feel that there is only so much friends or family can take of what might feel like a looped tape of ‘stuff’ to offload.   

A Divorce Workshop run by psychotherapists, delivers the social (meeting others who will continue to support you and you them, for months to come) but also delivers the space to think and process some of those overwhelming feelings.  That is a very important component of moving through this major life event and without which, getting through it can take longer than it needs to.

Our Workshops have had fantastic feedback of how helpful they are.   That through the workshop,  people have been able (perhaps for the first time), to think of what seemed like a frightening unplanned for future and see that divorce is an end but it also a new beginning and that the future can be something to be looked forward to.

2013 – Divorced or Separated – The year it all worked out.

Make a resolution for 2013 to find a new life for you.  It may feel right now, like second best or like you don’t know where to start.  One minute in one day is where you start and take one minute or one hour at a time.  By holding onto hostility or endless thoughts about your ex, you are protecting yourself from moving forward or thinking about that scary unplanned for future.  Let go and face forward, there are opportunities for you there and a place and space just for you.  The unfamiliar is always frightening, but as soon as you inhabit it, it becomes familiar and more comfortable. 

Make a resolution that once a month you will look at one bad point in 2012 as your marker.  Then using that marker, you will see how far you have moved and how much better you feel compared to that point.  You are entitled to feel better and to move through this painful process and come out the other side intact.

Although you may feel you are the only one feeling like this, you are not.  The statistics themselves show that one in 3 marriages end in divorce, you are far from alone.  Sometimes, by holding onto the same lifestyle, you are not acknowledging that when we experience different life events, it means sometimes the old way doesn’t fit any more.  Friends or invitations may fall away and life will feel different. That doesn’t mean you should feel on the outside of things just that you could be on the inside of something else, something that fits better. Resolve to be brave enough to find out what that is.

Make 2013 the year you faced an incredible challenge and overcame it.  Let 2012 go and resolve to do all that you need to, to make 2013 better for yourself.