Posts Tagged ‘Divorce in the over 60’s’

Divorce in the over 50’s.

Vanessa Feltz, poses a very interesting question today in the Express. http://bit.ly/Z2tS  about whether you stay loyal to ‘the marriage’, friends and family, or break for the border and take a risk of finding happiness. She talks particularly about the age group of people in their 60’s, when it would seem safer to stay married rather than be on your own, and she quotes Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne as an example of this.  I do think the decision is helped a little by having access to funds and a lifestyle that takes away the financial stress that most people have when they separate. 

However, the question of staying or going when you are over 60, doesn’t have an easy or a right answer.These are deeply personal decisions rarely taken lightly, although friends will often think they are. Staying in an unhappy marriage is debilitating, making you think, that, as you say in your article, where there is breath there is hope. We are all living and working for longer, so in our 50’s and 60’s there is a feeling that life isn’t over and there is a chance to get it right. Separating is devastating and has a ripple effect way beyond the couple, but sometimes its more devastating to stay together in a relationship sapped of joy. None of us knows what goes on behind closed doors and its easy to stand in judgement when the door closes on a marriage. Marriage isn’t easy, but nor is divorce, but one thing is true, there is life after divorce and it is also a new beginning.

Divorce in the over 60’s

 

Over the weekend, the Daily Mail covered a story on the rise of people over 60 filing for divorce (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2063430/The-growth-silver-separations-Divorce-rate-60s-surges.html). This doesn’t surprise me and I have covered the issue several times recently.

A relationship takes work, and over the course of 35 years or more, it can very easily become overlooked. As the children start to leave home and create their own lives, two things happen: Firstly, envy can creep in. Seeing a child start their adult life at the beginning of a new career, perhaps in a passionate relationship, independent and with their whole life ahead can make you feel your life is over and you are invisible. Secondly, with no children under your roof and perhaps with less or no work, you are left to look at your partner and find that you have left it too long to revive something. Too many years have passed with no connection.

It is ironic, that at the moment that you could actually spend more time together unencumbered by domestic duties, you wish to spend less time because you realise you have nothing to say and that you hardly know your partner. In the bustle of the business of your family life, you forgot that buried in the noise of it all was your relationship. There are now many more divorces of people over 60 than there have ever been. People simply ‘wake up’ after years of running around and find they have fallen out of love. Relationships need nurturing. Whatever path you decide to take will have its hurdles -a divorce being every bit as hard as staying together through the good times and the very bad.