Posts Tagged ‘infidelity’

Are men more committed?

The Marriage Foundation has published some research today which has been written about in the Daily Mail.  They have quoted some statistics showing that divorce rates are going down and that fewer women than in the past apply for a divorce especially in the first three years of marriage.  The assumption they make based on these results is that men are more committed than they used to be and therefore are giving less reasons for their wives to issue divorce proceedings.  That may be the case, but I think that what is odd is the quantum leap from the research statistics to their hypothesis.  It is hardly scientific, and has no link, as far as I can see with the Marriage Foundation’s assumptions.  How do we know it is not because people can’t afford to divorce now, or because women know how tough it is out there for them if they divorce.  How do we know that this study has a significant enough research base for it to provide any meaning.  No-one would disagree that commitment is better than no commitment, that fidelity is better than infidelity, but please, if we are going to have some research, let’s make the leap from the statistics to the conclusion meaningful not random.

How do I divorce you?

An opinion piece I’ve written for on the changing reasons for divorce, is now live on their website. You can read the full article here

Has Infidelity Finally lost its sting.

Having given a short interview to Linda Kelsey – Journalist on the Daily Mail, I was interested to read her article published today  Are we all about love and forgiveness now and finding a way to move on?  As I said before, I think there are many reasons for people leaving each other and filing for divorce and infidelity is a big one.  To talk about infidelity perhaps losing its sting is to underestimate and perhaps ignore the huge devastation that discovering infidelity brings.  Infidelity does not have to be the end of the relationship.  Many celebrity indiscretions are forgiven and we see couples in the public eye soldiering on – Wayne and Colleen,  David and Posh, Strauss Kahn and his wife, but whatever the public face of this seems to be, the private face is almost unbearable for many people.  Yes, find a way through if you can – privately and with help, but the fact that it is more commonplace and more talked about does not in any way diminish its painful impact. 

Women are perplexed by their Husband’s Choice of Mistress

I am thinking of Maria Shriver and Arnold Shwarzenegger as a prime example of how some women express complete incredulity at their husband’s choice of mistress.  There they are living together with their 4 children and unbeknowst to her, he is having a liaison with their housekeeper which resulted in a child.  Many women in our support groups talk of their husband’s having affairs with their best friends or people who they would never imagine would collude in their husband’s betrayal.  Often the mistress is envious of the marriage and the fact that her friend seems to have it all, the home, a family and a husband.  She can’t bear to be on the outside and would just like to have it for herself.  I suspect that the housekeeper who had an affair with Schwarzenegger was seduced by money, power and a touch of envy of the woman who seemed to have everything.