Posts Tagged ‘telegraph’

Baby Boomer Divorce – loneliness or freedom?

Research published today in the Telegraph highlights the percentage of people in their 50’s and 60’s who are lonely and that divorce contributes to that statistic.  Being married for 20 or 30 years and being unhappy for a large part of that, leaves someone in their 50’s or 60’s with a seemingly impossible choice.  Stay married, with years stretching out ahead with the same frustrations and unhappiness, or take a chance at something different – maybe meeting someone else, or just being free to pursue life unencumbered.  It can feel like the judgement of Solomon and takes a lot of courage to choose the separation route.  Many people who come to our groups talk about how lonely they felt in their marriages. You don’t have to live on your own to feel lonely, you can be surrounded by people and still feel it.  Perhaps one feels more lonely in a marriage where you might feel invisible and unappreciated.  Loneliness can be a sad fact of life – and all sorts of people in all sorts of circumstances can feel lonely.  Divorce is just one of those circumstances, and managed right, it is possible to move from being in a state of bereavement, loneliness and bewilderment, to leading a fulfilled life.

Forget adultery its slurping the soup that makes us divorce.

A woman went to court this week to argue that squabbling with her husband was sufficient to show irretrievable breakdown of her marriage. 
Her application was rejected.  This comes at the same time as an article in the Telegraph quoting Mr Justice Wall saying that there should be no fault divorces. If that was the case, then this applicant would not have to have said anything bar that she wanted a divorce. By rejecting her application, the court is saying crank up the allegations, say something really diminishing and nasty about your husband and
we will give you a divorce.  Please see my earlier blog for my opinion on that. I don’t think any marriage survives without squabbling and extreme irritation at a partner’s habits and way of doing things.  The whole country would end up in the divorce
courts if people abandoned their relationships for these sorts of reasons.  People generally end marriages after years of not having their needs met or years of not being heard or of being treated badly.  People don’t leave marriages because their partner leaves the top off the toothpaste or doesn’t clean the bath out.  Divorce is a much more serious issue and is mainly a function of real unhappiness not the everyday annoyance
of cohabitation.  You can read the article here: